Bl-ah-g

Post 18

I just posted a post in the which I made apologies for being away for so long and posting a topic that I'll discuss soon. The "cyber-ether" absorbed it with some mysterious error. I think the keeper of the void has it in for me. I still apologize, but not so nicely. Unpolished topic intro follows:

Topic will be:

"Most things you consider to be evil are really just lonely and lacking in social niceties"

Feel free to comment on the topic before I do, as I can't right now. Consider this virtual circle time.

Write in such a way that if your blog is called upon to die prematurely (as mine are prone to do) they'll have a happy reunion with the good blogs of the past. However, it's likely that their tarnished descendants (like this one) will end up going to the postMaster Demon (and yes I know that's not what it is, but Demon is far more appropriate than what's his bucket)

-Schlange

Polar Dream

(Post 17)

I had a lengthy and involved dream this morning. At the end I was talking to animals and getting ready to hunt polar bears using hardened snowballs. I remembered that I was hunting penguins earlier, so I ran outside the polar cave to the polar slope. I saw the penguins and ran towards them shouting in a very reassuring way," I'm not hunting you anymore! I'm hunting polar bears now! Anybody want to help?" The penguins all shouted" yippee" (with hi pitched, but not obnoxious voices) and ran towards me with snowballs in hand. The most popular of the penguins said loudly "Hold on! Only one of us can go!" He then looked at me hopefully and said "Right?" (I understood his intention – he wanted to be the only one to go so he'd have more prestige and influence with the other penguins) All the other penguins looked downcast because they knew that I'd choose the popular penguin. However, I needed lots of help so I said "Nope, you're all coming."

The popular penguin protested "But then, who will win?" He wanted this to be a contest so he could somehow find a way to be the best at it. I wasn't about to help him boost his ego, so I said, "Nobody. Just whoever kills the polar bear." (In my dream I didn't articulate very well, but what I ment was "all of us… we're all going to kill it, so we'll all win") The popular penguin looked down sadly for just a split second, but then he looked up and around and said importantly in a drawn out let-me-have-your-attention-I've-got-something-mischievous-to-say sort of way, "Or….. Whoever sits on him!" And all the penguins went "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh" (that's a drawn out ooh, not oh) with excitement for this new dare.

I woke up chuckling at the penguins' juvenile behavior. It was very refreshing and I felt very good for several minutes until my body looked up at me and said, "what are you chuckling about!?! You've got the flue remember! Don't you dare think you can be happy today! Smiling is right out!" I'm going to have to help it find some childish penguin love of life here pretty quickly or it'll likely lord over me all day long.

-Schlange

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post-Post Post (A post posted post the post of the privious post) - ok... maybe Post Script:

So, considering that I have the flue and ache all over I went back to bed. I woke up unable to go back to sleep because a dream startled me into an adrenaline rush. I was standing in a vast universe of colorless nothing (not black or white... just no color - I can't even picture it, but I guess dreams get to reinvent the laws of reality). One of my roomates (who happens to share my first name) was there, but I wasn't aware of it yet - he was behind me. He's taller than me in real life, but in this case he was 3 feet taller, with his neck being double it's lenghth and his head was as big as my chest. I turned around to see that he was bent over with his hands on his knees and his neck streched all the way out so that his nose was about 6 inches from mine. He said "Hey, J-Dog!" and I woke up with a start.

I've decided that dreams can get weird when you have the flue.

The Origins of Schlange

(Post 16)

(Note: Somehow my post editor is having issues. Most of my whitespace (Blanklines between paragraphs, 5 spaces in front of a new paragraph, or anything else that I've tried to use to make my paragraphs look nice) is disapearing every time I save. Sorry, but you'll have to bear with me.)

As part of giving my blog a facelift I'm changing my profile. I'm putting the old contents of what was in my profile here and editing it:

Schlange A. Taube nearly sounds like a real name doesn't it? Why did I pick it to post under? I've got a buddy Schmetterling who got me interested in blogging (his blog is The Eccentric Sage). He's got a unique pen-name and I was jealous.

He told me that his came about because of an experiance with a fellow who was a great fan of Tolkien. Apparently, Tolkien has an insignia that places his initials (JRRT) over the top of one another in a cool way. This fellow wanted something cool like that for himself, so he worked one out with his initials. Schmetterling subsequently made one that looked like a butterfly and thus created an alias (Schemtterling is German for butterfly).

We explored using the same method for me. We started superimposing the letters in my name over the top of each other to see what we could get in the way of a picture. We came up with several possibilities, one of note being the dollar sign ($). The one we went with looked something like an "A" hooked into the back end of a snake. That made me "A snake." Because everything sounds cooler in German we looked up the German translation of snake: "Shlange." That has pizzazz so I kept it. However, I didn't want to feel like an evil villain all the time so we started looking for something to go with it. Somehow I remembered Matthew 10:16, and that gave us a dove to go with my serpent. It also gave me a good name for my blog. Dove in German is "Taube." Stick an "A" that looks like a snake into the center of a German SnakeDove and what do you get? Schlange A. Taube, at your service.

-Schlange

Appendix for “Inviting Yet Fruitless”

(post 15.A)

I've linked this post to my last post. If you haven't read it yet this one won't make any sense. It's likely more enjoyable reading anyways, so go there now. I originally wrote what follows underneath the original post but then decided I'd prefer to keep them separate. This accounts for all the references to "this post." I was too lazy to fix the wording. If you want to, you can pretend that this post is at the end of the last post.

~

I've decided to append a little something to this post for the following reason: I have a good friend, Schmetterling, who told me he has linked this post to one of his posts. He told me a little about it, but I haven't read it yet. I don't intent to read it until this is written because I'd like to sum up the deeper feelings I was having when I wrote the above post BEFORE I read what someone else says that I was saying. "Get it? Got it. Good."

This little pastry story really sums up my feelings about most things in life. There are a lot of things in this universe that look incredibly good. Some of them "taste" just like they look. Others are hollow. Some are filled with poison. Sadly it can often be difficult to differentiate between the three, especially when just looking on their outward appearances. (Note: in my original post I said that sin is like a hollow pastry - at this point I'm making a redefinition. "Hollow" means lacking in substance and "poisoned" means dangerous to the body, mind or spirit. I suppose that both of those conditions could exist in the same pastry at the same time.) Now, I'll be the first to admit that I eat copious amounts of hollow pastries - and half the time this blog may be fairly hollow, for which I am truly sorry - but I really do believe that we all need things of substance to survive in this world or to gain any semblance of joy. Hollow things -pastries that is - consume time and resources. Feasting on them and them alone leads to malnutrition.

Consider Isaiah 25:6

“And in this mountain shall the Lord of hosts make unto all people a feast of fat things, a feast of wines on the lees, of fat things full of marrow, of wines on the lees well refined.”

God wants us to have (infact, he wants to GIVE to us) things of substance: fat things, things full of marrow, and I told you before – His magnificently crafted grapes. (if you aren't yet sold on the grapes, just ask Schmetterling. He'll set you straight.)

Now consider Isaiah 24:16

"From the uttermost part of the earth have we heard songs, even glory to the righteous. But I said, My leanness, my leanness, woe unto me! the treacherous dealers have dealt treacherously; yea, the treacherous dealers have dealt very treacherously.”

Besides the bolded bit there sounding like it could be an awesome start to a classic piece of poetry, it's got me thinking about the peddlers of the world selling us that which is without substance. We waste away for lack of nourishment, and we pay for the privilege! Enter Isaiah 55:2

“Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.”

It's all about getting fat my friends. "Eat that which is good." Stop paying physical and spritual curency (including resources like time or talents; and "bread" we already have, like peace of mind or joy) for that which isn't meeting needs. In media, and activities, and everything else in life we ought to be seeking substance for ourselves and offering substance to others. Whatever we choose to do, we had better get substance out of it, and when we find that what we are investing our "money" or "labour" in isn't yielding substance or satisfaction, then maybe it's time to look for new stocks. At least, that's what I had better do, and if I don't then I may find myself going to the same tables over and over just to find that the proffered pastries still deliver absolutely nothing that I'm looking for.

-Schlange

Something that is a part of this topic, yet that is apart from it is the concept of Becoming Something. I really want discuss that at a later date and when I do I'll create a hyper link here.

If you're interested, here is a talk by Elder Oaks (an apostle for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) that speaks about getting the best out of the good things in life:

Good, Better, Best (Ensign, Nov 2007, 104–8)

Inviting Yet Fruitless

(Post 15)

I just had a hollow experience. I attended an activity where food was provided (likely as an incentive to improve attendance). Amongst the table's insentivery chief weaponry were gourmet crackers with ranch dip, grapes of two varieties, orange juice, and a twinkling gem: pastries of some wonderful nature or another, glazed with gleaming sugar, and most temptingly oozing apple or raspberry filling from every crevice. I excitedly took one of each kind, found a corner free of distractions that might take from the experience, and lovingly lifted the apple pastry to my salivating taste tester. I placed the treat delicately between my teeth and applied pressure slowly, so as to extend the sensation of watering my tongue with sugary fruit goodness.

The expected flavor bomb never arrived. I began to chew vigorously and discovered that what should have been a masterfully crafted vehicle packed full of natural (but chemically enhanced for preservation) gifts for the nerve-endings in my tongue was nothing more than a thinly breaded carpool of the gasses that make up air. It was as a fig tree full of leaves but barren of fruit. (Fig tree's produce fruit before leaves… seeing leaves on a fig tree means you can expect ripe fruit).

After the crash of disappointment I looked at my raspberry pastry. "Little raspberry manna-cake," I thought to the sister of the sinful apple hypocrite, "your counterpart must have surely been a dud. You most certainly will not fail me. Not with such beauty in your figure and promise in your eyes… or icing in their absence." So I popped the raspberry pastry into my mouth. More disappointing than the first, this air pocket gave a hint and promise of forthcoming flavor that vanished with the breeze generated by the air escaping it.

I was crushed. But I yet could not believe that what I had sampled was the standard for all the beckoning desserts upon the table, so I ate four more. Whited sepulchers, all of them. It was like watching the food channel, but worse. Everything you see looks amazing and you wish that you could reach into the screen and pull out a sample. Well in this case you can, but when you bite into it you find that cable can't broadcast substance (which may be true in more senses than this one).

I'm fairly certain that the heinous company that made these tempting little heart breakers isn't going to make it through Armageddon. Particularly considering that the amount of residue that the filling on the OUTSIDE of the pastry left on the box they came in was greater than the filling occupying the centers of these great and spacious baked buildings.

So, I have some parallels to draw and re-reference; morals to extend; and lists to number:

• One: Don't be like a Pharisee… you don't want to end up like the cursed fig tree.
  
• Two: Sin is like a bad pastry. It tempts one with much, and leaves him with no fruit fillings. The more one places it in his mouth because he thinks it'll be better this time, the fewer flavors he'll have in life, along with a continued longing for the realization of never to be fulfilled promises.
  
• Three: A handful of God's own good grapes can make the world right when all joy has vanished.
  

-Schlange

~ Sunday, February 24, 2008 ~

The meaning beyond the satire.
(Stop here if you just wanted to read a rant about pastries. If you're looking for more substance click here. Also Schmetterling's post on The Eccentric Sage links this post to another fellow's post for the sake of making an interesting point. I recomend that you check it out.)

Minute Man

(post 14)

So, I have this Java Professor. He's a pretty cool guy, and I like him. He also works very much like a clock. He starts speaking at precisely the moment the bell rings and stops at exactly 12:50. Once I got to class 10 minutes early and slipped in the back while he was still teaching a different class. Just for fun I took a glance at the clock and took note of what he was saying. When he reached that point in the lecture in my class the clock said exactly the same time (one hour later) as it had in the previous class. The man is some sort of machine. Today, he had something important he wanted to add at the end of class. It was 12:50 and people were starting to leave. He said, "I'm sorry for keeping you, but I need one more minute of your time." He taught what he needed and then turned to the class and said, "thank you for the extra 58 seconds of your time. I hope you got something out of it." I've never been anywhere when someone actualy ment one minute when they said one minute.

I wonder what the world would be like if everyone could accurately estimate and stick to a time frame. What if "just a second" ment just a second, instead of "just 5 minutes", or if "just a minute" ment 58 seconds rather than "sometime between now and an hour."

A few years ago I saw segments of an 8 hour show from 1989, "Around the World in 80 Days," staring Pierce Brosnan as Phileas Fogg, with Eric Idle as his butler. In it, Phileas is the most punctual and predictable person in the universe. He arives at exactly the time he says and does what he's always done at that time and place, to the point that resturants know when he's coming and what he's eating and have it prepared and set before him as he's entering the doors. He bathes at exactly the same time and expects his water to be precisely 83 degrees.

If life was like that would things be easier or harder? I'd have all my assignments completed and on time. That'd be nice. Aside from that, I'm glad that things are the way they are - though I probably ought to work at making what I say be what I mean...

-Schlange

At A Later Date

(post 13)

Sadness.

I haven't been on a date in somewhere between two and three years. Much of that has to do with me volenteering two years of my life to teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I've been back from my mission for 6 months and just haven't got the guts up to ask anybody to go with me. So, I finaly did. I worked myself up to asking a pretty, nice, and funny girl to go ice-skating with me over the period of about 2 months.(That is to say, it took me 2 months to ask, rather than asking her to go ice-skating for 2 months.) I called her today and asked if she'd like to go. She said, "If you mean Friday or Saturday, I can't. My family is coming into town and I'm going to spend the weekend with them."

OUCH - not so much because she had other plans (and if I were her I would have said exactly the same thing), it's just that I spent so much time freeking out about it for nothing. Now I feel a little ackward about asking again - the same casual invitation, if repeated next weekend would now be not so casual by way of the repetition. How long are you supposed to wait before asking again? Maybe I need to ask someone else to go with me. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so akward asking later. (for those of you who are laughing at me, remember that this is a big thing for me right now... I'm soooooo out of touch with how to deal with women). *Sigh*

If anybody who lives close to me reads this I'd appriciate it if you'd keep this to yourself. If you're a woman who lives close to me reading this, then forget you read it. Think of me as suave and debonair. =)

-Schlange